Stop complaining and just deal with it

Radical acceptance means you accept things radically. All the way.

You don’t fight back.

If you’re turned off by the word “acceptance”, it’s probably because you think I’m telling you to be happy  with the things you don’t like.

As in, “stop complaining and just accept it”. 

No, that’s not what I’m saying.

“Acceptance” means you stop fighting. You don’t have to like it. You’re allowed to complain. Just don’t avoid it.

I would never tell you to “accept your fate”. Your fate is your fate whether you fight or not.

Before you can practice acceptance, you have to realize you’re fighting. Do you see that? Are you aware of all the ways in which you fight?

Fighting what?

Your experiences: thoughts, feelings, sensations.

Sometimes, you get it into your head that you don’t like some of these things. When that happens, you try to move away from them. That’s what I mean by “fighting.”

To accept those experiences, you would STOP moving away.

So, if someone calls you an idiot, you might feel offended. Fine. What do you do next? If you block them on Facebook, you’re moving away from the feeling of being offended. That is not acceptance. Do you see?

Acceptance would mean you don’t block them. You don’t have to like them. You just don’t do the thing that you’re inclined to do to get away from the feeling.

It’s simple.

But it’s weird.

ACCEPTANCE. This is the key. The missing ingredient.