I think I might have broken my toe today. Not quite sure, but it hurts.
I stubbed it on a yoga mat. How is that even possible?
(I have no idea how that’s possible, but it happened. Don’t worry, I moved the mat so it will be less likely to happen again.)
Now, I’m worried about walking. It hurts when I walk. I keep imagining the shards of bone digging into the inside of my toe.
This happened once before. It took a while to heal. I still cringe when I think about it.
As I’m sitting here typing, I can feel it throbbing and tingling. I can also feel my attention looping up and down from my head down to my toe and back up again.
It’s a cycle. Up and down.
This is what happens when you’ve spent many, many hours paying attention to your attention.
Try it, right now. Close your eyes and ask yourself: “what part of my body am I currently aware of?” Wait for an answer to show up, then ask again. Track the movement of your attention as it moves through space like this.
By “paying attention to your attention”, I’m talking about meditation, of course. At the end of the day, that’s the point of mindfulness meditation: to understand how the attention works.
I’m starting to get it, but I’m not there 100% yet. I wish I had learned to meditate a long time ago. Better late than never. The upside is that because I’ve gone so long without getting it, I know where the common stumbling blocks are.
It’s hard to understand. Most people completely suck at it.
(Probably because they don’t see the need to practice. But, once you see how your frustrations are because of your attachment to what the attention is doing, the need for practice becomes obvious.)
If you’re interested in learning how your attention works, come to a KorMeditation Group Class. I’ll guide you through the process of meditating the way I do it.
You don’t need any experience, but you do need to think that “serious meditation” sounds appealing.