TEMPLE_ARCHIVE

STATUS: INACTIVE // READ-ONLY

Tag: cp stop judging

  • Stop slacking off! You need to make PROGRESS!

    If you grew up in modern society, like I did, chances are you have these two competing voices inside you.

    While you are practicing, one of them says “Work hard! Stop slacking off! You need to make progress!”

    Meanwhile, the other says, “This is so stressful! This is not why I signed up for this…I wish I could just enjoy playing…”

    It may seem like these two voices are working together to make your life miserable. But, you can notice that each pulls you in a very different direction from the other.

    And, if you pay close attention, you’ll notice that only one of them has control over you at any given time.

    What directions are they pulling you in? What are the voices trying to make you do?

    Do you think there’s any way to make both of them happy?

    For example, suppose you are practicing sight-reading. Well, I’m guessing you’re not practicing sight-reading, because it’s just too frustrating. That is, unless you’re really good at sight-reading. Am I right?

    One voice (your teacher’s?) is saying “You need to practice sight-reading! You will never get good at it if you don’t practice!”

    And the other (whose?) is saying “This is too hard…I wish I were better at this, because then it would be fun…”

    I want to know what the voices are trying to make you do.

    Comment and let me know!

  • Overthinking for Musicians

    Overthinking for Musicians

    Do you find that you simply can’t be satisfied with your performance, no matter how hard you work? Are you constantly obsessing over your deficiencies? Do you get overwhelmed easily while practicing? Is “overthinking” inhibiting your ability to be efficient and productive?

    The temple knows…

    If so, you are probably wondering how to stop overthinking, once and for all.

    In this article, I will give several tips for musicians on how to deal with overthinking.

    Let me begin this by saying that many who know me would question my qualifications for writing an article on how to stop overthinking. After all, I am known as a prolific overthinker. However, I claim that this does qualify me to express an opinion on this topic. So, the very fact that this article managed to come into existence should be proof that I know something. And if I can do it, you can too.

    Problems caused by overthinking

    That said, you probably have a sense that overthinking is causing some problems for you. If you pay close attention to what is happening, you may notice the following dangers of overthinking:

    • It uses up your time. You only have 24 hours in each day. Do you want to spend that time doing what you want to do, or listening to your mind? Maybe some of both are useful, but it would be great to decide for yourself.
    • It distracts you from your goals and values. The mind lies to you. For example, you start an activity for one reason, and then suddenly you find yourself pursuing something else entirely.
    • It can throw you into loops. Often, the result of overthinking is that you might cause further problems for yourself. For example, if you are overly cautious, you might avoid getting something done, and thus fail at a task. Consequently, you might become even more cautious in the future, thereby leading to more failure.

    The temple is older than your fear…

    And now, the tips:

    1. Give self-compassion a try

    Many people will tell you it is bad to be an overthinker. Indeed, you may have been harshly criticized for it in the past. However, I invite you to consider the idea that perhaps your overthinking is simply inevitable. We all think too much.

    Remember that it was learned for a reason. Your mind thinks that it is useful for you (and perhaps it is). Instead of blaming yourself for doing something bad, consider that overthinking is an attempt at doing something good.

    What is overthinking, anyway? It is important to remember that rather than being simply a “mental barrier”, thinking is a behavior that is meant to serve you. For example, you may have learned it to:

    • Protect yourself from danger.
    • Ensure that you consider every possibility in a situation.
    • Remind yourself not to make a mistake you made last time.
    • Prevent yourself from getting too far into a situation without adequate preparation.

    People who identify as overthinkers have something in common: they are suffering. Try to see this. When you suspect the mind is hiding your suffering from you, try to actively look for it. When you find it, rather than stuffing it back down, try to hold it with self-compassion. This is nothing more than the wish for the suffering to go away. You don’t have to do anything about it. This will give you a more balanced perspective on why you do what you do.

    Enter the ritual hall, if you dare…

    Tips for self-compassion:

    If you can, notice how the thinking is your mind’s attempt at distracting you from the suffering, or promising that the suffering will disappear if you only do that one thing it’s telling you to do.

    For example:

    • If you are thinking so much that it is preventing you from sight-reading music fluently: notice how you might be feeling a sense of urgency to play the music correctly RIGHT NOW. What does this urgency feel like? It’s probably not very pleasant. However, instead of letting you feel this urgency, the mind is distracting you with “Sight-reading is too difficult”.
    • If you are obsessing over a mistake you just made, and are worried that it is about to lead to a memory slip: notice how you might be feeling a sense of embarrassment or shame over having made the mistake. Again, instead of letting you feel these difficult emotions, the mind is trying to distract you with “Don’t mess up again!”

    2. Notice when you are thinking

    Your thoughts are passing in and out of your head like clouds in the sky. Don’t believe me? Take a look for yourself. For example, perhaps you are thinking “I think too much.” To you, this isn’t a “thought”, it’s reality.

    However, it’s not reality. It’s a thought. You can see this. Notice how you have the thought. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s false. But, it’s still a thought. And, you are observing that thought. So, the thought isn’t “you”.

    The act of thinking itself can be noticed. You can notice what it feels like to think (overthink?), independently of the content of your thoughts. Perhaps you feel it somewhere in your body, or somewhere in space. When you practice noticing thinking, you will become more aware of your thoughts, and your responses to them.

    This content isn’t for free…

    Tips for noticing when you are thinking:

    In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), seeing thoughts as thoughts is known as defusion. There are a variety of defusion techniques, and it is worthwhile to play around with a bunch to see what works for you. For example, you might try:

    • Writing down your thoughts.
    • Speaking them out loud.
    • Imagine them as a television or radio playing in the background.

    3. Allow your thoughts to exist

    Your thinking is a result of your past. That is, you think the way you do because of what happened to you. In other words, your prior experiences have shaped who you are. Despite your best efforts, there’s not much you can do about it at this point. Your thoughts are the result of conditioning. They are not merely something that you choose.

    Remember that your thoughts are there to serve you. In general, this is what the mind does. Its goal is to protect you by formulating and solving problems, in response to suffering.

    Our culture will teach you that you should actively try to change your thinking. However, attempting to block out negative thoughts is probably futile. Surprisingly, ironic process theory states that actively trying to suppress a thought will make it stronger.

    That said, it is worth practicing looking at situations from multiple perspectives. Just be aware that you cannot simply “choose” which perspective you will see a problem from, especially when it is an emotionally-charged situation.

    Enough scrolling. You’re late to the ritual…

    Tips for allowing your thoughts to exist:

    Give yourself permission to think. Schedule it on your calendar, if you need to. 

    Also, permit yourself to be frustrated with your thinking.

    4. Observe physical sensations

    Thinking is just one part of your experience. Remember that you still have a body in physical space. So, try paying attention to what your body is feeling. Thinking has a weird way of pulling us out of the present moment and into an imaginary reality inside your head. Observing physical sensations can help to put your thoughts into context.

    Tips for observing physical sensations:

    Remind yourself that you have a physical body. Go for a walk, do yoga, or simply focus on the sensations of your breathing. Don’t try to make the thinking stop, but instead try to pull some of your physical experience into the mix.

    5. Get to know your thoughts

    Your thoughts are not as original as you think they are. You have likely thought them many times before (that is why you learned to think the way you do…it worked at some point in the past).

    Since these thoughts are playing on repeat, it might be worthwhile to get to know them. 

    The temple knows you better than you know yourself…

    Tips for getting to know your thoughts:

    Try writing down some of your thoughts. Give them names and personalities. For example:

    • Fred is the guy who keeps saying “don’t screw up!”.
    • Bob is the guy who keeps saying “keep practicing, you’re almost good enough!”

    Notice how each personality has an agenda:

    • Fred’s agenda is to help prevent me from screwing up.
    • Bob’s agenda is to encourage me.

    How old are these thoughts?

    6. Notice your behavior

    Observe how you move away from things you don’t like. Notice how you move toward things you do like.

    You learned to think as you do to help you do this. Paying attention to your physical behavior will shed light on your thinking, and it will help you to understand to what extent it is aiding you or hindering you.

    The temple sees all…

    Tips for noticing your behavior:

    When you find yourself overthinking, pay attention to what you do next. Perhaps you try to reassure yourself. Or, maybe you try to push the thoughts out of your mind by distracting yourself with food, for example.

    Do those behaviors help you, or hurt you? Are they successful in accomplishing what they are trying to accomplish?

    Take a look at your own experience and see what it tells you.

    7. Choose your values

    In ACT, values are fuel for motivation. They are ways of labeling what is really important to you.

    We are often motivated by things that, upon further inspection, aren’t super-important to us. For example, you may find that your desire to do well in a recital is more a result of your fear of displeasing your teacher than it is due to an intrinsic desire to perform.

    There is no judgment from me either way. Your desires are based on your unique history and make-up. What is important is that you choose the values that are important to you.

    Tips for choosing values:

    If you notice that you are overthinking, ask yourself “what is important to me right now?” Alternatively, you might ask “what would the person I want to be act in this situation?” This may clarify some of your options in the situation, and give your mind a chance to quiet down a bit.

    Do you have to stop overthinking?

    We are also taught to believe that if we have a negative thought process, we must change it,, to lead happier lives. This just isn’t true.

    You can watch your thoughts without buying into them (defusion). It’s about what you do, not what you think.

    Don’t believe everything you think.

    Your turn

    Enter the temple or be left in the courtyard.

    Have you found any other strategies to be helpful when dealing with overthinking? If so, I’d like to hear about them. Leave a comment below and let me know.

  • Stage Presence for Musicians

    Stage Presence for Musicians

    Many musicians struggle with stage presence and feel a lack of confidence as a result. Fortunately, by practicing mindfulness, we can improve our stage presence, feel more confident, and play better.

    In this article, I will give several tips for developing a confident stage presence.

    1. Have a clear intention when performing music

    A confident musician has a very simple idea of what the performance of a piece is. Compare this to reaching out for a glass of water. If we analyze this movement to the greatest degree possible, we can easily become overwhelmed by detail. Which muscles are involved? To what extent do they need to contract and relax? Exactly how much force is required to pick up the glass? What direction do I need to move my arm in, relative to my torso? What angle should I hold my forearm at, to prevent the water from spilling?

    This is way too much to think about. It is far more practical to have the intention of simply “picking up the glass”. If I organize my actions around this intention, then over time, I will figure out how to make everything work.

    You may object “I don’t have a clear intention yet, because I don’t know the piece well enough yet.” It can be difficult to commit to an intention when you are still worried about concrete details which you know are wrong. Nonetheless, this is what you need to do. Choosing a clear intention will serve to focus your mind, and make it easier for you to observe cause and effect relationships between your actions and the results you get. This is key to improving your stage presence.

    Practice tips:

    When you practice, try setting clear intentions. For example, you might say “I will play from the beginning to the end of this piece, no matter what happens”.

    2. Don’t correct yourself

    Many musicians will play a wrong note, and then immediately correct it before going on. This is not confident playing. 

    It’s true that correcting your mistake brings attention to it, and that the audience is less likely to notice a mistake if you simply brush it off (especially if they are unfamiliar with the piece). This is not, however, the main reason I suggest avoiding corrections.

    Corrections feed distraction.

    They make it impossible to focus on the big picture, and encourage you to worry about details. They prevent you from entering a state of real connection to what you are doing, because your brain is constantly scanning for potential mistakes to correct. This is not the way to have a good stage presence.

    Practice tips:

    When you make a mistake during practicing, don’t stop. Instead, keep going, and decide to fix it later. If you practice this way, you will find it much easier to perform this way. This is one of the most important habits to develop if you want to know how to develop confidence as a musician.

    You might think that if you don’t correct yourself, you will learn the piece wrong and will never be able to fix it.  I am not arguing that you should turn a blind eye to mistakes. However, while you are playing, do not correct them.

    3. Stop hesitating

    Music has a beat. Don’t interrupt it.

    You might think “if I don’t play carefully, I will make careless mistakes.” If so, consider that “playing carefully” is its own kind of mistake. 

    Notice how music can give you confidence.

    Practice tips:

    You can keep a steady beat even if you aren’t sure of the notes you are playing.

    Don’t believe me? Try it. Find a piece that you don’t even know very well, turn on the metronome, and play from beginning to end. Allow yourself to play wrong notes. Work on this until you see clearly that there is no need to hesitate.

    Record your “careful” playing, and listen to it. Can you hear how careful it is? How, exactly, does that carefulness come across in the sound? Is that the intention of the composer?

    4. Never apologize

    Developing this kind of confidence is one of the main benefits of learning a musical instrument. Certainly, low self-esteem and insecurity aren’t really supposed to be part of being a musician.

    However, in lessons, when students make mistakes, they look sheepishly at the teacher. They have been trained to feel as if they have done something wrong, or that they are bad pianists/students/people as a result of it.

    This is a distraction. You should be focusing on the music, and on your playing, not on the teacher, and not on your self-image. Notice how it affects your playing. This is always the key.

    I don’t think anyone sincerely believes that you should apologize after making a mistake. No one would argue for that. Then, why does it happen?

    Practice tips:

    Remind yourself that whatever you do is right, because you did it. If you don’t like it, you can always do something different next time. But, own what you do right now.

    5. Take your fears along with you

    You might have a fear of performing music with confidence. Perhaps you think:

    • It will be a sign of arrogance.
    • I will be embarrassed if I play confidently and still screw up.
    • Others will be angry with me.
    • I haven’t yet earned the right to play with confidence when I still have so many mistakes in my playing.
    • I’m only a beginner.

    These fears, if you succumb to them, will ruin your confidence and stage presence.

    Practice tips:

    Don’t try to argue with your mind. Instead, simply notice how all of this is affecting your playing. Allow the fear to exist. 

    Give it a try in the practice room. Try it in a lesson. Try it for 5 minutes at a time, and see what happens. 

    6. Don’t wait for it to be earned

    A final concern I hear frequently is: “I can play confidently once I learn to play well, so I should work towards that first.”

    The underlying idea is that confidence for performers is something that needs to be earned.

    Many people reach high levels of achievement and do not feel confident. Sometimes, they have learned to perform quite well despite having no clue how to be a confident musician on stage. Sometimes, confidence surprisingly decreases as skill increases (you gain a better realization of how much you don’t know). 

    Try to maintain a beginner’s mind, and try to make friends with your incompetence. Musicians who have good stage presence are not trying to impress the audience with their expertise. Instead, they are present with themselves as they are.

    It can be challenging to approach things this way because it is so different from the order society generally teaches us things must progress in. I find, however, that this will help you play better. You will be able to focus more on what you are doing, and less on yourself.

    Is art about apologizing, or is it about expressing yourself?

    Practice tips:

    Every time you practice, try to become a beginner again. When you are practicing something that you aren’t very good at, this is precisely the time that you should try extra hard to be confident.

    You can be a confident musician on stage

    We think skill is necessary for confidence, and we think we need confidence to develop skill.

    Making progress feels impossible.

    We tend to think that the feeling must come before the playing. This is a result of the common experience of trying to play confidently and failing.

    However, just because this is a common experience does not mean that it has to be this way.

    Is “confidence” in music-making something that is inherent in the performance, or is it more about the one doing the playing? If we don’t understand the difference, it is very easy to say “I can’t possibly play confidently, because I’m not confident.”

    Your turn

    Do you find this inspiring or motivating? Is there anything I’m leaving off this list? Take a look at your own experience and see what it tells you. Also, get out there and practice mastering your confident stage presence! Leave a comment and let me know how it goes.

>