Category: Email Archives

I used to believe that life was supposed to be good.

That the idea was to avoid bad things and that if something bad happened, my job was to fix it.

One day, while performing on piano with a singer, I noticed that we weren’t in sync. It was the singer’s fault (she had skipped like 3 beats of music), and I could have skipped ahead to join her. But, I was reluctant to do that, because it meant I would mess up the music I could see written on the page.

I had a conflict.

I could either:

1. Make the overall performance sound better but sacrifice the integrity of the music and subject myself to criticism from people who know the music? Or,
2. Make the music sound more correct and subject myself to anger from the singer for ruining the performance?

Either way I looked at it, it was impossible to avoid a negative outcome.

The singer had made a mistake, and this forced me to choose between the lesser of two evils.

I sure am glad I noticed the inevitability of a bad outcome here. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to make a choice. I would have had no choice but to put out a fire that wasn’t even all that bad.

By accepting one negative consequence, I was able to prevent something even worse from happening.

(Of course, I skipped ahead to join her, but don’t think that decision didn’t cause stress for me!)

This is the power of awareness (when you can see what’s going on) and equanimity (when you can let things happen without trying to change them).

It can change your life.

Unless, of course, you don’t want to change your life.

Then (and only then) you should carry on as usual.

But, if the idea of change sounds tasty, you might be a candidate for No Problem.

—Michael

I could see this playing out a few different ways.

👉 The meditator has an advantage in terms of awareness and equanimity. The non-meditator is more likely to be tunnel-visioned and overly reactive.

👉 However, the meditator might be less likely to get into a fight. And, they might be more likely to avoid fighting back.

👉 On the other hand, meditators can be really obnoxious. I can see why someone would want to pick a fight with a meditator.

👉 The meditator might have higher pain tolerance. But, they might also be more sensitive.

Your guess is as good as mine.

That brings me to my next point…

If you haven’t yet signed up for No Problem, I’m wondering why.

Is the issue that you don’t want awareness and equanimity? (No Problem teaches awareness and equanimity)

If so, are you sure? You’re telling me you don’t struggle with anxiety, stress, perfectionism, motivation, depression, addictions, or fear of public speaking?

I mean…OK…

Or, maybe the issue is that you DO want awareness and equanimity, but you don’t feel it’s worth paying for it?

Are you sure not paying for it is without cost?

Have you calculated the cost of not paying? You know, the cost of living with anxiety or low motivation or stress or whatever? (Do the math and tell me what you come up with.)

Perhaps you already have awareness and equanimity and don’t need more.

If so, great! I want to hear about it. (Just reply to this email and let me know.)

Another possibility might be that you DO want awareness and equanimity, but you’ve found a cheaper or otherwise better place to get it.

I also want to hear about that. Thanks.

Maybe you don’t believe No Problem even provides awareness and equanimity.

Fair enough. But again, I want to know why you think that.

Finally, I was thinking maybe you DO want No Problem (at least in theory), but you don’t believe you have what it takes to finish a meditation course.

OK, but you should know that no one who’s bought it has told me they couldn’t finish it.

Instead, I’ve gotten messages like these:

• “Never thought I’d be into meditation, but here I am.“

• “I actually liked this more than I expected to. It was a good meditation for people who are slightly weirded out by meditation, if that makes sense.”

• “You have an inclusive and unique perspective on meditation, and a method that creates an environment with a concrete reason for practicing. My days of “this is a waste of my time” are gone. Getting rid of the idea that meditation only counted if I was perfectly present made this possible for me and I am curious to see where my practice takes me.”

Sign up here.

—Michael

Because it doesn’t work.

The mind responds to whatever stimulus is put in front of it.

Trying to keep it in one place is an exercise in futility.

Even when I try to “focus on the breath”, I don’t try to focus on anything. It’s just a suggestion, an intention.

It disappears as soon as it appears.

It comes and goes, like everything else.

So, if you’re saying “I can’t meditate because I can’t focus”, that’s just an excuse not to meditate.

Let it come and go, like everything else.

Then, keep meditating.

In the No Problem, you’ll learn how to let things come and go without insisting they perform to your specifications.

If you don’t know how to do this, you must be going crazy right about now.

—Michael

I’m not going to hold back.

Ready?

Let’s go.

1. Not using a timer.

You have to use a timer. Otherwise, what are you even doing? The point of meditation is to sit for a certain amount of time.

If you don’t use a timer, it means you’re stopping whenever you feel like it. Meditation is about ignoring your feelings, not about letting them boss you around.

2. Acting as if “good meditators” shouldn’t get upset.

Getting angry or frustrated is not a sin. It’s just a normal part of being human. Meditation makes you more aware of your humanness, so you should expect more anger and frustration.

Don’t worry, all advanced meditators learn to bottle it up even more than normal. It becomes a religion of sorts. So, if you find yourself doing this, know that you’re not alone.

3. Paying attention to thoughts.

Meditation isn’t about thoughts. Get that thought out of your head.

It’s about sensory experience.

If you find yourself worrying about how many thoughts you’ve got going on, stop what you’re doing and pay attention to physical sensations.

4. Judging the quality of a sit based on anything other than its length.

Meditation isn’t about getting into a state. The idea isn’t to get into a good state or to get out of a bad state.

Meditation is about sitting and being with whatever happens.

If you can’t focus, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong. It just means you can’t focus.

5. Trying to be mindful in daily life.

Mindfulness in daily life will happen automatically. Stop trying to make it happen. You’re not ready for it.

You need to spend that time meditating, not trying to figure out how to stay calm when your boss is yelling at you.

—Michael

P.S. The No Problem meditation course will teach you how to meditate without making these mistakes.

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Buckwheat meditation cushion. I got mine on Amazon and it’s made by “Infinite Nature”. They seem to be currently unavailable. But, another brand will work, I’m sure.

2. Insight Timer. This app has cool bell sounds and keeps track of your hours meditating. Also, you can customize when the bells ring. (For example, you could have it ring 3 times at the beginning and then once after 30 minutes, and then 3 times after an hour.)

3. Wherever You Go, There You Are (by Jon Kabat-Zinn). I haven’t read this whole book, but I love the title. That’s enough to get it on the list.

4. 10-day silent retreat. I know it sounds intense, and it is, but it’s worth doing.

5. Crystals. Just kidding.

6. Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha (by Daniel Ingram). This is the book people on the Internet love to hate. But, it’s the most comprehensive and honest account of how to get enlightened you’ll find anywhere.

7. Padma Seat. This is a strap that helps you sit upright.

8. Curiosity. If you aren’t willing to experiment, you’re not going to get very far.

9. Podcasts. I’ve enjoyed listening to Michael Taft, Ken McCleod, Dan Harris, Joseph Goldstein and some others I can’t remember right now.

10. Online forums. It’s good to have a place where you can ask questions when you’re stuck. If you’re a serious practitioner, the Dharma Overground and the streamentry subreddit are useful.

Hope this helps.

—Michael

P.S. If you’re looking to get started with meditation, the No Problem course is a must.

My lunch today was:

• Arugula

• Avocado

• Provolone cheese

I thought about making a salad or something, but it seemed like too much work.

I might have made a sandwich, but I have no bread.

GaryVee said once that he eats so fast because he has a lot to do. (I think it’s a video about blueberries.)

Same here. There’s no need to do anything fancy.

Eating doesn’t have to be a big ritual that you stress out over. It can just be one of those things you do and move on to the next thing.

Just another leaf on the stream. (Equanimity)

“Don’t put so much pressure on yourself…” <—–This is what they say.

Good luck with that. It’s a skill you need to practice, not a switch to flip.

That’s the kind of thing you’ll learn in No Problem (how to let things come and go without putting that pressure on yourself to act).

Check it out here

—Michael

P.S. I love Italian food.