The temple remains.

Fragments of past transmissions echo below.

Category: Uncategorized

  • Two collaborative piano jokes

    Number one

    Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Accompanist.
    Accompanyist who?
    DIE YOU @#$_& NAZI!!!!!

    Number two

    Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Accompanist.
    Accompanist who?
    Nevermind.
    .
    .
    .
    Later that day, in the collaborative piano FB group:

    The disrespect some people have for our profession is mind-boggling. Can you believe I showed up AT THEIR DOOR and they still didn’t pay me!?

    For those not in the know…

    “Collaborative pianist” is the politically-correct replacement for “accompanist.” The only thing collaborative pianists hate more than being called “accompanists” is when people mispronounce “accompanist.”

  • Why you’re intimidated by yoga classes

    You might think it’s because you’re inflexible and out-of-shape. Yeah, that’s not it.

    Yoga classes are intimidating because there’s something off about what’s going on there.

    Look behind the scenes, and you might notice:

    1. The teacher (who only has 200 hours of training) is following a recipe from a book. Also, they have less insight about your body than you do. How much insight do you think the book has about your body?
    2. The other students aren’t even following the instructions. They move like a synchronized dance team, and yet we all know they can’t possibly be breathing together. No, something else is forcing them to move together. (btw, the teacher isn’t inhaling while saying “inhale”. That would sound weird.)
    3. You yourself have been trained to focus on “am I doing it right?” according to external standards. When you’re worried about looking bad, it’s no wonder there’s a fear of failure. (The poses were designed for flexible people, you know.)

    Yet, the ideas behind yoga are simple. They’re the same ideas you find in meditation.

    Last year, I wasn’t a qualified yoga teacher. But, I wanted to say some stuff about yoga.

    I had gone to yoga classes taught by lots of teachers, and none of them seemed to have the level of insight that I had about my body.

    Those yoga teachers with their 200-hour certifications had no qualms about posting yoga stuff.

    Why did I???

    No good reason.

    So, I decided to qualify myself as a yoga teacher. I invented a school of yoga (KormanYoga), and authorized myself as the sole teacher.

    Instead of a paltry 200 hours, I gave myself credit for 330,600 hours (approximately the number of hours I had been alive up to that point).

    330,600 Hour Yoga Teacher Certification. This certifies that Michael James Korman has successfully completed the requirements for the KormanYoga 330,600 hour yoga teacher certification. Signed, Michael Korman, Founder. June 8, 2020.

    After all, it’s my life experience that gives me the insight I have.

  • Your playing is horrible

    Your playing is horrible.

    (Calm down: this is a mass email going out to my whole list. I’m not referring to something specific that YOU sent me.)

    Anyway, if you’ve sent me a video of your playing, and you want to know my opinion, there it is.

    It sounds horrible, and it feels horrible to listen to.

    That’s why I am passionate about helping people. Because I want to help you fix this.

    You already know it sounds horrible. And you already know it feels horrible.

    For some reason, you won’t admit it.

    Yet, it’s the only thing you really want. You want it to feel good when you play. You want it to feel easy.

    You make up other explanations for it. You say:

    “I can’t play fast enough”
    “I can’t play evenly enough”
    “I can’t find the right fingering”
    “This piece is too hard”
    “I’m only a beginner”
    “My first teacher taught me bad habits”
    Whatever. There’s a long list of them.

    And for some bizarre reason, you’ve convinced yourself that you care about any of those.

    But you don’t, and you know it.

    So stop asking for help with those things!

    (btw, it’s much more fun to talk about fingering or playing evenly once those are no longer your PRIMARY OBJECTIVES)

  • July 10 Recital with Allison Holst-Grubbe

    Hearts All Whole

    PERFORMED BY SOPRANO ALLISON HOLST-GRUBBE AND PIANIST MICHAEL KORMAN

    Exploring themes of love as found in nature through German and American art songs of the 19th and 20th centuries.

    This will be an exciting program featuring songs by Franz Schubert, Robert Schumann, Clara Schumann, Franz Liszt, Ned Rorem, Charles Ives, Samuel Barber, and William Bolcom, as well as piano works by Frédéric Chopin and Claude Debussy.

    Photograph by Katherine Griswold

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