The reason your communication skills aren’t improving is because you’re not allowing yourself to make mistakes.
Look, you need to make mistakes. Just make them. What’s the big deal? Seriously. Try to find the big deal.
There’s no big deal.
Yeah, yeah, I get it: when you make mistakes, bad things happen.
That’s true. But, part of developing skill is learning how to deal with bad things. How else do you think you’re going to get to a point where you can deal with them?
You’ve got to let them happen.
Your mind can handle this
Contrary to popular opinion, your mind can handle this. It’s called “mindfulness”. You pay attention to what’s going on, and you process it.
You’re a being of infinite potential and energy. Your organism can handle itself even if you can’t.
Look at all the other animals on the planet. They all function just fine, even while making mistakes all day long. That’s because they don’t know they’re making mistakes.
But you know you’re making mistakes, and that’s why you’re suffering. If you didn’t know, you wouldn’t suffer.
It’s the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. It’s really screwed you over, hasn’t it?
Marshall Rosenberg, founder of Nonviolent Communication, liked to say:
“Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.”
(Did he come up with that himself? I swear I’ve heard it elsewhere. Let me know if you know.)
When speaking, just say whatever comes to mind. Doesn’t matter if it’s right. You’ll figure it out eventually.
Analysis vs. Practice
There’s a time for analysis and a time for practice.
- When analyzing, sit down and think hard about what’s a mistake and what’s not.
- When practicing, just do whatever.
DON’T MIX THE TWO.
(Even though this is what you learned to do in school. It’s wrong.)
Mistakes are the point
Look, the whole point is to make mistakes and learn how to fix them. This is the same way you learn any kind of skill.
You’ve got to be brave and courageous and stupid. What’s the alternative? Being cautious, slow, and hesitant? Yeah, that’s really inspiring…
Make those mistakes, over and over and over again. It’s the only way to go.
In my opinion.