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  • Let’s explore something here

    Objective perspectives can be liberating.

    When we get stuck in our own worlds, our thinking gets boxed in and we miss seeing the bigger picture.

    I didn’t speak much in Spanish class in high school.

    “¡Más fuerte, Miguel!”

    That’s what I heard, every day. I hated it.

    Foreign language classes are great for the talkative kids. Not for me. I prefer to listen more than I speak, but in school that’s unacceptable.

    So, I developed this notion that there was something wrong with me. That my reluctance to speak up was somehow a deficiency.

    In the world of that Spanish class, it was. That’s because the teacher was in charge, and she made the rules. She decided what was acceptable, and what was deficient.

    Now, I can make my own rules. I don’t have to buy into her stories about how human beings should behave, which are only the products of her own childhood experiences.

    Also, my name’s “Michael”, not “Miguel”. 😠

    There’s nothing “wrong” with her perspective, but it’s not the perspective I choose to see things from. I’m glad I have that freedom now.

    I’m offering 3 exploration sessions within the next week. These are 30-minute one-on-one sessions. If there’s something you’re stuck on, where you need an outside objective point-of-view, you might want to sign up for one of them.

  • Here’s an easy way to make 10 dollars

    I posted this on Instagram: “They’re not reacting to YOU. They’re reacting to their IMAGE of you.”

    A couple of weeks ago, I was walking down the street and I was approached by a guy who I assume was homeless.

    He asked me if I had $5. No, I didn’t. I almost never carry cash on me.

    He then asked if I would walk with him to Burger King and buy him something. Sure, why not? I wasn’t in a hurry to get anywhere.

    “You’re not homophobic, are you?”

    I told him I wasn’t.

    I was, however, a little bit nervous. He was a stranger, and he was very chatty. I also didn’t want to get COVID from him.

    “I’d rather you didn’t touch the bag of food, though. Do you mind if we stop in CVS and you can buy something there and get cash back, and I’ll take the cash and go into Burger King and bring back the change?”

    Sure, whatever.

    We went into CVS. I bought a pack of gum and got $10 cash back.

    At this point, I knew this was a routine of some kind, but I figured the worst that would happen is I would lose $10, so I went along with it.

    We walked to Burger King, and I gave him the $10. He told me he’d be right back, and I waited outside, leaning against the brick wall.

    And waited.

    I was about ready to leave when he came back out, no food in his hands.

    “They’re making the food now. It will take a few minutes.”

    I told him that was OK, and asked him how much money I was waiting for.

    “I don’t know. Probably not too much. You don’t trust me, do you?”

    I was getting irritated.

    “No, I don’t,” I said.

    I’m not going to hand a $10 bill to a stranger and expect to get anything back. I was waiting outside of Burger King because he told me to wait there. This was obviously some elaborate ploy, and now he was using shame to finish the job. 😠

    “Just keep it. It’s fine.” I told him.

    “Are you sure?”

    “Yeah,” I said, and walked away.

    I have no idea what he thought of me. He doesn’t know me. He only knows what he saw on that day. His behavior was based on his image of me.

    I don’t know him. I only know what I saw only that day. My behavior was based on my image of him.

    And now, I have a story to tell about it.

    I wonder what story he told. I like to think that he was expecting me to say, “no, I do trust you,” and that he now has a story about the one guy who violated his expectations.

    But, I have no idea.

    Either way, they’re just stories.

    My mind can imagine all sorts of stories around this situation. I’m glad I don’t take any of them too seriously.

  • Ten tips for learning any skill

    Here are ten tips for practicing any skill:

    1. Allow yourself to make mistakes.
    2. Use a timer.
    3. Practice even when you don’t feel like it.
    4. Record and share your practice sessions.
    5. Aim for quantity, not quality.
    6. Focus on bodily sensations while practicing, not on the work you’re doing.
    7. Identify what you’re afraid of, and practice that.
    8. Always be failing.
    9. Don’t apologize for your mistakes.
    10. Decide what you’re going to do before you do it. Then, do it.

    These tips will work for learning piano, meditation, singing, foreign languages, drawing, yoga, anything.

    Brain surgery 🧠🔪 or race car driving 🏎️ ?

    Who knows. 🤷‍♂️

    BTW: Episode 5 of the Self-Defined Human Podcast came out yesterday (“This Podcast is a MIstake“). It’s awesome. Way too confrontational. It’s about mistakes.

    (I talk about how I would learn race car driving.)
    —Michael
    P.S. Meditation is a meta-skill that will help you learn any other skill. To get started with meditation, you could try my course, No Problem. Or, not. Up to you.
  • Episode 5: This Podcast is a MIstake

    Episode 5: This Podcast is a MIstake

    Let’s talk about mistakes. Those awful, horrible, rotten things. You know you’re not supposed to make them. Are you allowed to at least talk about them? Let’s find out.

    If you give me a hard time about something, I’ll give you a free ticket to the fun house. The name is misleading. It’s more fun for me than it is for you. Sorry about that. I’ll give you a refund if you ask.

    Your teachers were not interested in your development. They were interested in proving they were good teachers, competent people, worthy in the eyes of their parents, so that they could rest assured that they weren’t going to be left alone in the wilderness to die of starvation, or to be eaten by wild animals.

  • #5 – This Podcast is a MIstake

    #5 – This Podcast is a MIstake

    Self-Defined Human
    Self-Defined Human
    #5 – This Podcast is a MIstake



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    Let’s talk about mistakes. Those awful, horrible, rotten things. You know you’re not supposed to make them. Are you allowed to at least talk about them? Let’s find out.

     

    If you give me a hard time about something, I’ll give you a free ticket to the fun house. The name is misleading. It’s more fun for me than it is for you. Sorry about that. I’ll give you a refund if you ask.

     

    Your teachers were not interested in your development. They were interested in proving they were good teachers, competent people, worthy in the eyes of their parents, so that they could rest assured that they weren’t going to be left alone in the wilderness to die of starvation, or to be eaten by wild animals.

  • When I go viral, you can say you knew me back then

    I’ve been inspired to create memes.

    You know, those stupid images with captions that tell some kind of story or express some emotion or whatever.

    I like the idea of taking a popular meme and reusing it to say something else. “Memejacking”, I guess it’s called.

    (I spent some time this morning researching memes, and learning about this kind of terminology.)

    I’m envisioning tremendous potential here. Memes would be a great way to say the things I’m already saying, but in a form that is easily digestible and relatable.

    OK, that’s from a marketing perspective 👨‍💼. Now, let’s look at it from a Michael perspective 😵.

    Whenever possible, I try to make my activities into formal practices. That means turning it into a task that has:

    1. a specified length of time, and
    2. a precise description of what it means to “do” the task.

    I want to eliminate all sense of difficulty or ambiguity from the task. I want to know that after 20 minutes, it will be DONE. The time limit takes care of this easily.

    And while I’m doing it, there should be no doubt in my mind about whether I’m doing it correctly. I want to be able to zone out and surrender to the task, going into a flow state as quickly as possible.

    It can take some creativity to turn tasks into practices like this.

    For meme creation, it’s challenging, because memes need to be funny, relevant, thought-provoking, etc. There’s a lot of luck in that. You have to wait for inspiration to strike.

    So, I don’t want to put that pressure on myself. My task is not to make inspiration strike, but to do something stupidly easy that will make it more likely for inspiration to strike.

    You can do this with absolutely anything. You can live your whole life this way, if you want (I recommend it.)

    It’s easiest to start with meditation, because the definition of success in meditation is easier than with any other activity. It will teach you how to make anything else into a practice. This is why it’s so useful.

    But, meditation can be frustrating or demotivating, especially when you’re not approaching it the right way. My course, [No Problem], will show you how to approach it correctly.

    (this email is a practice, as well. on to the next.)

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