Blog

Here’s a link to No Problem.

I’m going for a walk in a minute.

Just wanted to send an email, though.

“Michael, why would you send an email when you have nothing to talk about?”

Good question, thanks for asking. I’m sending the email because I want to get into the habit of sending emails whenever I think of sending emails.

On second thought, I might revise that. When would I like to send emails? Gotta figure this one out. But certainly every day. (Is everyday one or two words? Don’t know. Care. But don’t want to care).

Just don’t want it triggered by anxiety.

But as long as I’m typing this email, might as well sit with it.

You guys know what I have to offer and where to find it. (That’s not fully true, I’m sure. I’ve said very little about what I have to offer.)

ANYWAY…here’s another link to No Problem.

—Michael

If you want to change habits, stop trying to change your behavior over large stretches of time. Instead, pick one isolated moment and work on that.

Over this past year, I’ve been spending way too much time on my phone. Whenever I’m not on the computer, my phone is in my hands. Even while walking outside for hours.

So, I said to myself that I’d like to stop using the phone while walking.

But (and here’s the part that’s different from what you would do), I didn’t do that by trying to “break the habit” of using my phone while walking.

Instead, I said “after I put my shoes on, I’m going to turn off my phone.”

That’s the entire thing.

It’s just one moment in time.

It’s easy to do.

It’s easy to keep score (if I wanted to, which I don’t).

If there’s any problem doing it, I can zero in quickly on where the issue is.

Get it? “Breaking the habit using my phone while walking” is now the end result of my actions. And, if I don’t get that result, I have only my ingenuity to blame (and not my willpower or lack thereof).

You’re just a rat in a maze. Stop taking yourself so seriously.

If you want to get better at this, you need to become aware of more isolated moments throughout your day. Each one is a hook you can use to reprogram yourself however you want.

That awareness comes from KorMeditation. No Problem will get you started.

—Michael

Your teacher does not have to be qualified AS LONG AS you are following their advice in order to expand your behavioral repertoire, rather than to find safety.

If you’re doing that, you could literally learn from anyone.

Someone once gave me advice and I thought, “I’m not sure if they’re qualified…I’d hate to follow bad advice.”

Then, I noticed I had a fear of following the advice which was independent of my doubts about their qualifications. The doubts were trying to protect me, but they were unnecessary. Following the advice did not mean I had to become a “student” of this person, or subscribe to their whole worldview.

I was free to take what I needed and ignore the rest.

I realized I would benefit from being able to do what they recommended. At the moment, I couldn’t do it, because I was uncomfortable trying. I knew that if I got comfortable doing that thing, I’d have more power than I did currently.

“But Michael, isn’t it the case that we sometimes follow bad advice for years and don’t realize it until it’s too late?”

Yes, this is why you should apply the above test. Advice that you follow for years is followed because you feel safe trusting someone to guide you. If that’s what we’re dealing with, sure, you should make sure the person is trustworthy.

But, don’t let yourself miss an opportunity to learn from less-qualified people. Your fears can be great teachers.

—Michael

P.S. Can you meditate? If the answer is “no” or “sometimes”, then you are a less powerful human being than if you could answer “yes”. To remedy this, sign up for No Problem.

Last spring, I got a phone call from the police about my Facebook account. Apparently, they had received a few complaints.

The inspector left a voicemail asking me to call him back. I was afraid to.

Did I need a lawyer?

Was he going to trick me into saying something that would incriminate myself?

Would they arrest me if I didn’t call back?

I had no idea what I should do. It stressed me out for the rest of the day.

I asked a couple people for advice and then decided to call. I figured at least I should know what I was dealing with.

He wanted to make sure everything was OK and that I wasn’t blaming anyone for anything or feeling persecuted or whatever. He wouldn’t tell me who had complained or why (he used the word “complaints”). He referenced a joke about a gun someone had made in the comment section of one of my posts. It was obviously a joke and he knew that.

He was pleasant, and didn’t seem concerned that I was a threat. Just doing his job.

The whole incident scared me and made me think twice before posting on Facebook again.

I wasn’t posting about violence or anything like that. My posts were about meditation and freedom of speech and how we could live together harmoniously as a society.

But, they didn’t agree with the popular narrative of the day.

(They didn’t disagree…they just didn’t have the right codewords in the right places.)

The threats are real. Speaking your mind will get you in trouble.

That’s why you’re afraid to speak up.

It’s not because you have “social anxiety disorder” or because you’re “shy” or because you’re “unmotivated”. It’s because people will punish you when you speak up (I bet it happened when you were a kid, right?).

That’s the bad news.

The good news is that now you know where the issue is. It’s not you, it’s them.

So, that’s our task: to figure out how to say what needs to be said without getting destroyed. I don’t know how to do it. But, this is the practice.

First step is becoming aware of what needs to be said.

Second step is becoming aware of your fear of saying it.

Let’s get good at those first.

This takes deep introspection and it’s not obvious how to do it.

Good luck if you want to do this without meditation. It’s the quickest path to self-awareness and understanding. No Problem will get you started.