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  • Read this if you’re a perfectionist

    If you’re a perfectionist, you must meditate. You won’t get rid of perfectionism otherwise.

    Perfectionism is an anxiety disorder. You’re afraid of making mistakes.

    The only cure for an anxiety disorder is exposure therapy. That’s when you deliberately expose yourself to the thing you’re afraid of.

    However, this is hard to do. When you expose yourself to something you’re afraid of, you’ll want to run and hide. Then, you’ll go your whole life saying, “yeah, yeah, I know I should just suck it up and deal with it.”

    So, how do you get to the point where exposure therapy is possible?

    You must learn to see the thing you’re afraid of as being only sensory experience.

    For example, if you’re afraid to publish a blog post because you’re afraid of criticism, you can learn to see the fear of criticism as merely images and sounds in your head and sensations in your body. Once you see it this way, it’s much easier to be willing to expose yourself to it.

    Rejection is hard to deal with. A “story about rejection” is easier to deal with. “Still frames from a movie about rejection” are even easier to deal with.

    This is where meditation comes in.

    Meditation teaches you how to view your experiences as sensory phenomena. Without meditation, you’ll be too attached to your stories and the exposure therapy won’t work and you’ll be stuck with perfectionism forever.

    —Michael

  • This is how cults recruit members

    Your friends and family and teachers are out to screw you over.

    Don’t believe me? Try doing something unexpected (but good for you), and watch what happens.

    They will freak out.

    Don’t let that stop you. Keep going.

    Your mind will also try to stop you. It will tell you about all the horrible things that will happen if you don’t listen.

    Your mind is not your friend.

    Remember where your mind came from in the first place. It was programmed by your friends and family and teachers. You learned to fear the unknown because you felt it would keep you safe from social rejection. And remember, when you’re a baby, social rejection means certain death.

    That’s why you take your mind so seriously.

    But…this is a problem. We call it “perfectionism” or “lack of confidence” or “living in fear” or “overthinking” or a hundred other names.

    It’s all the same, though. You’re taking your mind too seriously.

    (because you don’t want to die in the woods as a baby)

    Well, you’re not a baby anymore. You are free to say “thanks mind, but I can handle this on my own right now.”

    —Michael

  • I don’t understand why I should meditate everyday

    I got a question:

    “Why should I meditate everyday?”

    Good question, thanks for asking.

    You should meditate everyday because, if you don’t, you will suck at meditation. It’s a skill that takes practice. It’s not something you do once and then you’re done. You must spend many hours on it.

    Let’s make it concrete.

    There’s a blog article by Ben Fishel titled “A Ph.D. in Happiness: What 10,000 Hours of Meditation Actually Does to Your Brain.” You can look it up on Google and read what he says.

    He breaks down what might happen after a certain number of hours. For example:

    • After 100 hours of meditation, you can expect “less stress and anxiety, improved immune system and energy”.

    • After 1,000 hours of meditation, you can expect “almost superhuman focus compared to coworkers, increased capacity to experience love”.

    • After 5,000 hours of meditation, you can expect “much of your ego will dissolve, much more control over automatic reactions, boredom won’t occur”.

    His words, not mine.

    My words are:

    I don’t care if you meditate everyday, or if you get your 10,000 hours in all at once and then quit forever.

    But, the clock is ticking.

    —Michael

  • Ignore the piano losers and be a winner

    I want you to win at piano.

    Ready for a secret?

    Drop your arms on the keyboard with each and every beat.

    Piano teachers hate me for giving that advice. That’s because they’re losers.

    Ignore them. Be a winner instead.

    —Michael

  • Is motivation necessary to do things?

    I got a question the other day. Actually, it was last night. No, wait. It was this morning.

    The question was: “Is motivation necessary to do things?”

    Answer: Yes.

    You can’t do things without motivation. After all, what would motivate you to do the thing, if not for motivation?

    This is not a philosophical issue. This is real.

    What hinges on the answer to this question?

    If you’re going to say “do I have to feel motivated to do things?”, then I would say no, you don’t.

    Try it right now. Think of something you don’t feel motivated to do, and do it anyway.

    For example, I don’t feel motivated to end this email right now. I kinda want to keep typing

    —Michael

    P.S. I’ve gotta put a link in here: here you go.

  • I suck at jazz, and that’s exactly why I’m qualified to teach it

    This is the fifth email I’ve written today.

    I sat down and said “I’m going to write five emails all in one go.”

    I don’t know if I’ll send it. I don’t know if I’ll send any of them. Maybe you’ve already read some of them, or maybe I haven’t even sent them.

    I’m writing these as a practice. I want to get better at writing emails. So, I’m practicing it.

    I posted a video of some jazz improv the other day in a Facebook group. I’m a total beginner at jazz improv, so I’m sure it sucked.

    Predictably, I got some responses from jazz teachers:

    • “I will say this very plainly and matter-of-factly: you absolutely COULD NOT play along with jazz pros if you played like that. No way, not a chance.”

    • “there are plenty of high schoolers and even some middle schoolers who would earn a higher score on a jazz piano adjudication, compared with this sample you’ve given us.”

    • “That’s demeaning to over a hundred years worth of dedicated innovative musical artists. Trashing their entire life’s work as if saying that all they’ve ever done is aimless meandering and meaningless noodles.”

    This is why people are afraid to try new things.

    But, here’s the thing: if you look past those responses, there’s a whole new vista of possibilities. A completely open highway where they are simply incapable of hurting you.

    As a “bad jazz pianist”, I have so much more power than I did as “a pianist who can’t play jazz”.

    For example, I can now teach people how to play even when they’re afraid to because they think they suck. Couldn’t do that before, because I didn’t have personal experience.

    Yeah, the jazz teachers might not like it, but so what? They’re not my customers.

    You are.

    (when you’re ready to change how you look at music, this is where you should start.)

    —Michael

    P.S. Let’s take a vote. Will I send this email?

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