The temple remains.

Fragments of past transmissions echo below.

Category: Uncategorized

  • What I Offer and Why

    I play piano.

    I need money so that’s why I teach piano. If you already-kinda-sorta play piano and you’d like to work together 1-1 (online), check out Piano Boot Camp. You might also be interested in the $5 Piano Lesson, my e-book Take Yourself Seriously, or The 2nd-Best Moonlight Sonata Tutorial EVER. Those things cost money, but I also have a free course called Learn Piano in 5 Days, which is a “lead magnet” (a trick to get you to sign up for my email list) masquerading as a course. Still useful, though.

    My way of playing piano is based on meditation, so why the hell not talk about meditation? If you want to get into meditation, I have an online, self-paced course called No Problem. I also offer two individual guided meditations: Meditation Lesson One and the Guided Anti-Lobster Meditation for Stress and Anxiety (for those who LOVE my voice). I have, at times, offered a meditation group on Zoom. It’ll probably come back someday.

    The same principles also apply to other skills I’ve learned, such as drawing and calligraphy and marketing, so that’s why I talk about those. If you want to get into drawing, check out Just Draw It. If you’re a writer (I’ll let you define that term), I have a prerecorded workshop called Getting Unstuck on Writing.

    If you meditate while moving your body, it’s called “yoga”, so that’s why I talk about that. Nothing for sale here, but I have a yoga video. It’s a demonstration of KormanYoga, the school of yoga I founded and authorized myself as the sole teacher of.

    Meditation also makes you question who “you” are, so that’s why I talk about psychological concepts like boundaries. Check out the prerecorded workshops Anti-Perfectionism for Creators and Understanding Your Deeper Layers. If you feel guilty all the time, I have a lesson called Guilt Quest. I forget what it’s about, but it’s gotta be good. If you’re a musician, not-you is why I made No Musician Here.

    I have a podcast, a YouTube channel, a blog, an Instagram account, and a TikTok account. Instagram is the best place to reach me.

    If you want to schedule a single coaching session with me, that’s a thing. It’s called an Exploration Session.

    Oh, and if you trust me enough to give me money without any clue what you’ll get in return, check out the Big Surprise.

  • Michael’s Guide to Moonlight Sonata

    Before you tackle this Beethoven classic, watch my Moonlight Sonata playlist on YouTube (it should also appear below). It has tips from the beginner to advanced levels. The temple is older than your fear…

    Videos in the playlist:

    1. The simple pattern that makes it SOUND like Moonlight Sonata
    2. There’s a reason they call it the BASS (Moonlight Sonata)
    3. Moonlight Sonata: left hand (bass) by number
    4. Make People Feel Sad and Lonely (Moonlight Sonata, the REAL melody)
    5. Moonlight Sonata in 60 Seconds
    6. Moonlight Sonata Tutorial (40-second version)…a Beethoven Classic to make them want more 🎹🌛
    7. How to play Moonlight Sonata like a professional
    8. The most important chords in Moonlight Sonata
    9. The secret to Moonlight Sonata is TENSION
    10. The ONLY right way to play Moonlight Sonata (demonstration of doing one thing at a time)
    11. It’s OK to play Beethoven wrong. Do whatever WORKS.
    12. THINK SLOWLY to play the fast movement of Moonlight Sonata
    13. Experience the Power 🧙‍♂️🎶 of Harry Potter’s Moonlight Sonata
    14. Moonlight Sonata as a secret weapon in the fight against Internet cruelty
    15. Moonlight Sonata belongs to everyone. Use it for your own purposes and make an impact.

    For a guided tour of Moonlight Sonata…

    …check out The 2nd-BEST Moonlight Sonata Tutorial EVER (it costs money).

    The temple doesn’t care about your feelings.

  • How to Jazz

    I made a YouTube playlist called “How to Jazz”.

    It contains everything you NEED to know about playing jazz, from this non-jazz expert. Music is music. It’s all the same anyway.

    Watch playlist on YouTube

    Videos:

    • jazz is a WASTE of time (AMA “do u like jazz?”)
    • How to play jazz piano for beginners
    • As a master’s degree holder, I hereby qualify YOU to play jazz piano (reply to a comment on my AMA)
    • How to know what to play when you improvise
    • The five steps to playing jazz like a master

    Have fun.

  • How to play piano with both hands

    The secret to playing piano with both hands is to stop trying to do two things simultaneously. Just do one thing at a time and you’ll be fine.

    If you want to get good at this, I made a YouTube playlist (“Both Hands”) on the topic.

    To venture deeper into my cult, check out the Basic Hand Coordination Exercise.

    Videos in the playlist:

    1. How to rub your stomach and pat your head at the same time (master’s level piano secrets)
    2. Homework problem for playing with both hands at the same time
    3. FIX YOUR THINKING: Both hands ALWAYS do the same rhythm
    4. There’s no such thing as a “polyrhythm” (addressing an objection in the comments)
    5. How to Play River Flows in You with BOTH Hands
    6. How to play with both hands on piano (homework problem for River Flows in You)
    7. The ONLY right way to play Moonlight Sonata (demonstration of doing one thing at a time)
    8. Use a METRONOME to play piano with both hands at the same time (Bach)
    9. Don’t Believe the Hype: Golden Hour is Totally Doable, Even with Two Hands!
    10. How to Play Golden Hour like an EXPERT (hint: see the bigger picture)
    11. Prelude in C is easy when you play ONE CHORD AT A TIME
    12. Why You Sound Like a Beginner (it’s because you’re trying to do too many things at once)
    13. The ONLY right way to play Clair de Lune (demonstration of doing one thing at a time)
    14. I’m a master of Clair de Lune. It’s lonely at the top 😢 (use boundaries to do ONE THING AT A TIME)
    15. Even FUGUES are easy when you do one thing at a time

  • Piano by Number

    Learn songs by pressing one key at a time. Courtesy of me, a roll of masking tape, and a Sharpie marker.

    View the playlist on YouTube

    List of Songs

    (last updated: January 12, 2024)

    1. Eminem – The Real Slim Shady
    2. Phil Collins – Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)
    3. Vanessa Carlton – A Thousand Miles
    4. Interstellar Main Theme – Hans Zimmer
    5. Für Elise – Beethoven
    6. The Entertainer – Scott Joplin
    7. Crazy Frog – Axel F
    8. Dr. Dre – Still D.R.E.
    9. The Addams Family Theme
    10. Skyrim – Dragonborn Theme
    11. Pachelbel – Canon in D
    12. Legend of Zelda
    13. Theme from Jaws
    14. Pachelbel Canon (left hand)
    15. The Kid LAROI, Justin Bieber – STAY
    16. Aphex Twin – Avril 14th
    17. Harry Styles – As It Was
    18. Led Zeppelin – Stairway to Heaven
    19. Pink Panther Theme
    20. Stand By Me – Ben E. King
    21. John Legend – All of Me
    22. Never Gonna Give You Up – Rick Astley
    23. Bill Withers – Lean on Me
    24. Eminem – Without Me
    25. Aphex Twin – Avril 14th
    26. Eminem – Without Me
    27. Led Zeppelin – Stairway to Heaven
    28. If she’s an Eminem fan, this should impress her. (The Real Slim Shady)
    29. Meet Girls by Teaching Piano (Für Elise – Beethoven)
    30. If she’s a Dr Dre fan, she’ll be impressed. (Still D.R.E.)
    31. Vanessa Carlton – A Thousand Miles
    32. Bach Prelude
    33. Lynyrd Skynyrd – Free Bird
    34. River Flows In You (1/45)
    35. River Flows in you, part 4/45
    36. The Addams Family
    37. Für Elise For Piano Newbies
    38. Metronomes Are Your Best Friend (but I’m your worst nightmare) – River Flows in You, part 5/45
    39. I’m Good (Blue)
    40. Start Learning Piano by Playing Für Elise
    41. How to Play Avril 14th by Aphex Twin (super-easy tutorial)
    42. Rush E is EASY (what’s the big deal anyway???)
    43. As It Was – Harry Styles
    44. Unholy – Sam Smith
    45. Ylang Ylang – FKJ
    46. + Easy piano song to learn**! + (Industry Baby – Lil Nas X)
    47. Great Balls of Fire – RIP Jerry Lee Lewis (1935-2022)
    48. Can You Play This 3 Times in a Row, PERFECTLY? (I Ain’t Worried – OneRepublic, Top Gun: Maverick)
    49. This Song is Literally Only TWO Notes (Still D.R.E.)
    50. Rush E is SO EASY I only need ONE finger!
    51. Anyone who can count to THREE can play this song (Theme from “Up”)
    52. See You Again
    53. The EASIEST Piano Song (Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven)
    54. RIP Coolio — Do I sound like a gangsta??? (Gangsta’s Paradise)
    55. I heard you like symbols so I made you a tutorial with symbols (A Thousand Miles, Vanessa Carlton)
    56. Unholy by Sam Smith – super easy for piano. You could literally play this in 1 minute 🎹
    57. The One True Way to Play Still D.R.E. 🌑🎹

  • Rules for Comments

    I want my comment section to be fun for you to read and fun for me to reply to. I want it to be a world where communication happens the way I want it to happen.

    This isn’t a democracy and I’m not an authority figure. I’m just another human being like you. But this is my channel and I’m running it according to my chosen values (”turquoise” in spiral dynamics).

    If you’ve listened to episode 2 of my podcast (“Stop Setting Boundaries“), you know that boundaries are rules we impose on our own behavior, not on that of others. So, as an exercise in setting boundaries, I’m imposing this comment policy on myself.

    The Policy

    I will delete comments that consist of:

    • Criticism from an account that doesn’t show a (real) full name and photo
    • Trolling (making up bullshit just to stir the pot)
    • Correcting me without stating and standing behind a worldview
    • Anything that makes me want to reply “so what???”
    • Explaining what you think other commenters meant
    • Emojis without words
    • Gibberish
    • Quoting memes without adding anything original
    • Ellipses at the beginning or end of sentences
    • Referring to me in the third person (“bro thinks…”, “Him:…”, etc)
    • Referring to my audience as “us” or “we”
    • Warning me that my actions are going to cause me to lose my audience
    • Using “genuinely curious”, “genuinely interested”, “genuinely wondering”, etc.
    • Calling me childish or immature
    • Derogatory statements or questions about my mental health
    • Telling me to chill or relax, etc.
    • Calling me a troll or asking if I’m a troll
    • Sealioning (criticism disguised as innocent questioning)
    • Dogpiling (joining in on any criticism of me that has already been established by others)
    • Accusing me of spreading misinformation or being misleading
    • Demanding that I stop producing content or writing comments or anything else

    Some of these are open to interpretation, and I’m the final judge. That’s the whole point. These aren’t rules for my commenters, but rules for me (listen to the podcast episode about boundaries).

    I want to make it clear that the above comments aren’t “bad” in every context. But, in the context of my comment section, I don’t want them. They don’t lead to the kind of bingeworthy reading material I want, and they make it hard for me to write the kind of replies I want to write. I’m aiming for quality over quantity.

    I’m still trying to figure this out, so these rules may change at any moment.

    Please let me know if anything is unclear.

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