Karmic trash collector needed

I’m a karmic trash collector.

It’s one of my official job titles here at Michael Korman, Inc.

Perhaps you’d like to apply for this position. We have an opening.

(No, I can’t pay you anything. I can’t even give you a desk or a business card. All you’ll get is the satisfaction of knowing you’re doing your part to clean up the world of psychic garbage.)

Let me give you a quick job description:

Your duties will be to pick up stray pieces of toxic positivity and replace them with pieces of reality.

For example, if you’re angry about something, it will be your duty to allow that anger to express itself. That doesn’t mean you attack the other person (necessarily), but it means you recognize that there are three people in the room: you, the person you’re angry at, and the version of you that’s angry. Given that the version of you that’s angry is normally the one silenced by societal expectations, you’ll fight against this and allow that person to speak. This will benefit all three of you, since it will be a learning experience for everyone.

Basically, you look at situations from the perspective of the broader system, rather than only from your individual point-of-view.

(it’s mostly a lot of entry-level “allowing problems to resolve themselves rather than rushing to solve them yourself”…)

Minimum qualifications include: a willingness to be seen as irrational, angry, and not mindful.

Sign up now for this great opportunity to practice the skills you’ve learned in meditation in a real-world environment.

The planet will thank you (after you’re dead, probably).


(Social media influencer and karmic trash collector)


2 responses to “Karmic trash collector needed”

  1. Fabienne Egger Avatar
    Fabienne Egger

    Is this position still open?

    1. Yes, we’re always looking for extra help. Please submit a resume and I’ll forward it upstairs.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *