Meditation will subject you to a practically unlimited stream of thoughts, many of which will be disturbing.
Here are five that you might have noticed:
1. “Am I doing this right?”
What instructions are you trying to follow?
Are you clear on what they are? No? Then, you deserve to wonder if you're doing it right.
Yes, you're clear on what the instructions are, but you're still not sure if you're doing it right? Welcome to meditation hell! This is a normal part of the process.
I hope you enjoy your suffering.
2. “Why am I the only one who can't sit still?”
Because you're the one who's asking the question.
Meditators who don't perceive themselves as moving around and others as being still don't ask questions like this.
Sounds like you had a rough time in school.
3. “I can't remember what I was just thinking!”
Excellent. That means you're perceiving impermanence (this is progress).
I was going to say more but I forget what.
4. “What can I learn from this?”
Too late. Whatever it is, you've already learned it.
Oh, by “I”, you're referring to the little person inside your head who thinks he has the ability and the responsibility to infer lessons from all experiences?
He can learn that meditation sucks and is a recipe for feeling like a total failure and you should never ever do it more than once.
5. “No one has the right to tell me how to meditate. I'm just going to do whatever I want.”
Excellent. That means you're perceiving suffering (this is progress).
Keep going, and notice how no matter which strategy you pick (follow the instructions or do your own thing), you're still miserable.
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