Joe: Michael, I wish I could just not let things bother me so much.
Me: Like what?
Joe: Like what so-and-so said to me the other day.
Me: What would it look like if it didn’t bother you? How would I tell?
Joe: Well, I’d be less upset.
Me: What would you do differently?
Joe: I would be more relaxed.
Me: Yeah, but what would you DO? How would it affect your behavior?
Joe: I don’t understand.
Me: How would I, as an outside observer, know you weren’t bothered? You’re just telling me how you would feel. That’s all internal. What about external?
Joe: I suppose I would smile more.
Me: Oh, I get it… Ok, pretend I’m looking at you from a distance. What would I see?
Joe: I would move more freely.
Me: Suppose I followed you around for a couple days. What would I see?
Joe: I don’t know.
Me: You’re too fixated on the present moment.
See, Joe’s problem is that he isn’t aware of larger patterns in his behavior. That’s because he’s bought into the mainstream narrative that says feelings are a problem.
He fixates so much on his feelings that he neglects to even notice what they’re doing to him.
Don’t be like Joe.
Learn to be OK with your feelings, so you can focus on what’s really important.
KorMeditation will teach you how to do this.